The Mountain Man and Randy Chapter 2
Posted: Friday, November 27, 2009
by Cecil Nye
http://www.ironcooker.com
It was almost dark when they got done with their talking and trading back and forth. Each man thinking he got the best deal. And old Randy, still looking over them old pots and pans. He always got the first part of washing the dishes before they made the trip down to the river to finish them. OK.. Old boy its your turn . Yip, Yip, Yip as he heard his master bang the old cast iron cookware.
For some reason Randy always liked going with Jim and sitting back watching him. After a few minutes the big dogs hair stood on end. not a sound did he make, but he nudged Jim and then ran back. What is it boy , not a sound. but, his hair was up again. Jim knew not to ignore his dog, "something was wrong, something bad wrong". He reached down to put that cast iron cookware in the bag he had brought from the cabin.
Then the big cat jumped out of the brush, Right for Jim. It hit him with the force of a train. Even as big as he is it knocked Jim over. He got his knife out and turned, all the wile, Randy waited, waited for the right moment. You see Randy is a well trained mountain dog. A damn fine one at that. He watched with a tear in his eye, but he knew he only had one shot at saving the man that this big cat was trying to take the life away from. Then it turned, the cats head was looking away. Randy sprang like lightning out of a thunder cloud. You could hear him like the sound of the ringing of that old cast iron pan against the wall. He sank his teeth hard in the neck of that cat. Round and round, up and down, around a big tree and back again. Randy's hold didn't loosen. Then the cats claws hit his side and blood flew. Still he didn't let loose. a moment later two lifeless bodies laid on the ground.
Jim grabbed that big old cast iron fry pan and bashed the cat in the head. Took his knife and stabbed it over and over, yelling Randy, Randy, Randy. Why Randy ? Then the big dog wined. He heard his name and opened his eyes. You're not dead old boy. He carried him to the cabin and laid him on the floor. Check next time for chapter 3
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)You are a good story-teller. Thanks for Chapter 2, can't wait for the next one. Well done. Thanks for sharing. ~Nenita~Thank you, your very kind. I wasn't sure how everyone would feel about these kind of stories here.
Great piece...I have a couple of beagles, Radar and Reilly who are trained to protect the pack (my wife). I can see them doing much the same thing. Thanks for the story.I'm glad you like. I will be working on the next part. It's all wrote in my notes I just have to get it on here
Enjoyed this much like the first part - would only suggest some quotation marks when a character is speaking and maybe some italics for when someone is thinking. Would make it flow better and easier to read. Thanks! MarijoThank you, I will work on that partthanks for your e-mail. I have not had any creative writing classes but have been writing since I was 4 and mom wrote down my first poem... I have been posting on websites and getting critiques for a bit over a year now. there is always more to learn! Your stories and the dialect are very entreguing! It is wonderful that you are in the reader's choice top ten - there are over 8000 writers on this site! Be encouraged! Marijo (Mary Jo)
Hi Cecil, I am enjoying the story. This was well-written. I agree with Marijo, the quotes when a character is speaking is helpful for a smooth read and just a few grammar things "its" needs to be changed to "it's" and watch the capitalized words after a comma. I don't want to sound harsh, but I see such potential in your writing. Keep up the good work and thanks for a great story! Teresa
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